im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
