so that wasnt chicken after all
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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