omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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