I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
