she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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