It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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