I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
