i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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