Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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