so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
