I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
