And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
