Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
