3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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