So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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