He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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