Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
