my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
this hospital has no fireball
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
