Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize