the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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