Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
