let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize