How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
