dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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