fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
