Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize