He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
