Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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