"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
