I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
