I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she pinky promised me she was 18
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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