I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
