It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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