he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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