Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
