I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
