so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
