another moral hangover. fuck.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
