Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
