Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
