I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
