Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
