We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
