he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We need to get me chipped asap
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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