even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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