i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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