How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm at about main and main street
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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