This is not my ceiling
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
