and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
