she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
