He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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