I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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