i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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