We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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