I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
