I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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