i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
