Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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