I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
