someone threw a dead crab at me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize