Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
