Duck Duck Cougar?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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