I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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