u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
