Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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