Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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