You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
