North Korea, Best Korea!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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