Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I love you.
Bad choice
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
