Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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