shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
