it wasn't lemon gatorade
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize