ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Help. Why am I so naked?
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