Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
