Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
